I'm not sure of the details, but my father did own the share of a pub with two of his Scottish friends I believe. It's possible there was an American man involved, I'm not sure. The pub was called 'The Rose & Crown' in Calumet city, Illinois. I hear that the pub is still there today in some form or another. it is situated in the bottom of what appears to be a large hotel / apartment.
A lot of my dads time was spent there, I remember him watching episodes of 'cheers' and reflecting on his own times in the Rose & Crown. He loved 'cheers' because it reminded him so much of the atmosphere and dry sarcastic humour he remembered in those days. from what I gather, my dad would finish his day job, be it painting & decorating or tool making and then drink his money in the pub with his friends.
This was a burden to my mam who in later years would be left with my two older sisters at home alone. My mam told me that many other women and wives would be left in similar situations and some of them would get together to support each other and generally keep themselves sane as their husbands continued their boozing.
I know of one occasion where a friend of my dads (Vietnam vet) turned up at the house looking for a place to stay. He spent most of the night pulling stitches out of his would and leaving them in the ashtray before going to bed to crash out. My mother was woken one night by a strong smell of smoke. The Vietnam vet had gone to bed drunk whilst smoking and naturally set his bed on fire. My mother had to make sure my two older sisters were safe before calling the authorities and also trying to get hold of my dad who was......in the pub.
There were probably more times where they could have split up, but my mother has told me in recent years that these were the days when 'men were MEN and women had to do what they were told'.
I was surprised when I heard these stories as my dad was always such a quiet person. I forgot to mention earlier that by this time my parents were married. They got married in 1963 I believe (how could I NOT know?) it was Christmas eve 1963. It was always nice to see their happy anniversary cards on the television when I was growing up, even though they were never affectionate to each other. I believe from their own hard backgrounds, showing affection was frowned upon, and they constantly had trouble expressing it. This is something I now understand and appreciate. My parents never hugged us, or told us they loved us, but I know they did. They always made sure I was ok, they always gave me money, and never beat me up like some poor kids go through. For this.....I am very grateful to them, especially because I know their marriage was more out of convenience than love, and they did that for their children....us.
My dad was pretty much a family mam at heart believe it or not, and he was very keen on his own family to come and stay in America with the option of perhaps living there in the future. My mam was against this, and it seems this was frowned upon by everyone. My mother was made to look like the villain. My dads family didn't have much to do with us as we were growing up and sometimes I wondered if it was because they didn't like my mam, or they held many things against her because she was not keen on everyone living with them in America.
I talked to my mother about this and I can understand her position. She was forever housebound with two small children, and sometimes she would never see my dad for days. Sometimes he would work,drink and sleep at the pub and go straight back to work. My mothers life was dreadful and I always remember her telling me she would listen to 'Homeward bound' by Simon & Garfunkel and dream of Scotland and her own family whom, I imagine she really missed at this time. My mother never had much support really especially from her own family. For my dads parents & family to stay would mean my mother would be looking after all of them pretty much like a servant, a position she used to hate when she worked for the Weiner household.
So I don't blame my mother for not wanting to entertain this idea & I can understand why she wanted to return to Scotland.
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